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Sometimes life just sucks.   
03:52pm 26/03/2004
  You know I keep trying to get in touch with people and everytime I get near them something happens. I'm starting to wonder if there's some sort of curse. I can barely even get this blasted muggle thing to work. It's just been one thing after another.

First my hair and then I was sick and then all of the things with Father and Lucius and Professor Snape and Severus and Mother and Narcissa. How much mroe convoluted and confusing life can get. I keep getting the feeling there's a lot going on and I know nothing about any of it.

It makes my head hurt and it frustrates me.

Tracey? Millicent? Anyone out there alive want to tell me what it is that's happening that everyone's not sharing? Cause I really, really, would like to know. I'm starting to get paranoid and wait for someone to bury a knife in my back.

Hate it.

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07:21pm 17/03/2004
  Well then.

I hardly know what to say but I believe that I owe Lucius and Narcissa an apology for dropping out of sight, yet again. This time I will actually offer that apology. I am, truly, sorry. I would very much appreciate a chance to catch up and discover what has happened and how you both are. Similar apologies to Severus, Pansy, and Nott. Even Crabbe and Goyle and Millicent.

The rest of you I am sure are more distressed that I have returned, and that is hardly something I am going to apologize for.

I would also be very grateful if someone could assist me in that current school work assignments. I'm afraid I'm rather behind.
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10:37pm 03/03/2004
mood: enraged
At some point between dinner in the great hall and returning to the slytherin dormitories my hair has been turned blue.

Very, very, blue.

I am not amused.
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12:57pm 03/03/2004
mood: cynical
It seems the Weasley runt is still gripping and complaining about having work to do, and has decided not to do it and Lupin threw his school work out his window. This somehow doesn't surprise me. In fact it seems a rather typical display of Gryffindor 'bravery'. That is to say they'll suffer for it, but it felt good at the time and as such the repercussions are irrelevant.

Unlike the Defense essay the Potion's essay actually interests me. I am rather certain there are going to be rather lot of submissions in deflating draughts, swelling solutions and other second year potions that are altogether too simple to hold the attention of any but simple minds. I will be doing my essay on the Draft of Peace. Perhaps not the most exciting of potions, effect wise, but it's complicated enough to be at least mildly entertaining and it certainly has it's uses.

Lucius, if you intend to meet with me in the common room before we graduate, do let me know. Unless of course you intend to wait thirty years for 'time ' to 'catch up' with 'you'.
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09:16pm 29/02/2004
mood: busy

Given the lack of anything worthwhile to either think about or write about I find myself considering gryffindors and their study habits. Yes, I really am that bored.

Long assignments in particular: I sometimes wonder if they just throw odd bits of nonsense in to make up the difference. Of course attempting to do anything similar to that with Professor Snape would be beyond foolish.

I don't know how Professor Snape can read through such things without being bored absolutely to death. I certainly admire him for his ability to teach most of the student body at all. And his remarkable restraint and patience in his handling of class.

And with that little bit of wisdom, I shall retreat to do my assigned work rather than continue to listen to the rest of you whine, however entertaining that may be.
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12:34am 22/11/2003
  Mother says that preparation goes well for Father's case, and he should be a free man come the new year. Hopefully the wizarding world comes to its senses after his innocence is declared, though I really do doubt it. Dumbledore has them convinced that the false charges were nothing but the truth. I do not think I will get into this again on here, so I will leave it at that for now.

Pansy has been spending an insufferable amount of time with that Denixxar boy, and it is about time someone set her straight. Even if he was sorted into Slytherin when he came here, he is still of the sort that respectable wizards and witches should avoid. Pansy, perhaps we can discuss this over tea. I will have about an hour between hiding the sweets that Mother sent me from Crabbe and Goyle until the time I scheduled to respond to the owl that I am expecting to get from Mother tomorrow. This will be in the afternoon, and I will find you in the common room, I trust.

I have filed several complaints with Madam Hooch asking for the pitch, but she continues to refuse to let Slytherin have time to practise. How are we to decide who the new beaters are going to be if we do not have time on the pitch? This is another example of discrimination against our house. It is hardly our fault that Slytherin is superior in birth, power, and wealth. The other houses should begin to accept responsibility for their status in life, as it is no one else's fault that they are not in Slytherin except their own.
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04:18am 03/11/2003
  Crabbe and Goyle take all the blame for our loss Saturday. They got it in their heads that hitting the bludgers at me might make me want to keep them on the team. How they came to this conclusion is unknown, but they are Crabbe and Goyle after all. There is not a brain to share between them.

Macdougal was still effected by that idiotic prank from the night before, and several times he missed the quaffle when distracted by the bubbles coming from his mouth. Slytherin will not sit idly by and let others mess with our house in such a manner. You can be assured that we will learn the names of those responsible, and we will then act accordingly.

The foreigners in Slytherin are beginning to act up again. It is as if they think they deserve a position on the team. With Crabbe and Goyle's recent actions, it is very likely that two positions may be opening up. However, they will not be going to wizards from some other school. The Slytherin Quidditch team will stand by the students who have always attended Hogwarts. It is the only way it can be fair.

Mother owled me the other morning with a large package. I noticed it was the largest package that has been sent to Hogwarts this year. Mother does love me very much. It contained her usual sweets, as well as a little something extra for the recent set-back that was Saturday. There were also notes of Father's trial. It would appear that Mother has been meeting with Veritana Denixxar, and the two of them have made a promising start in his defence. Mother wishes to keep me up-to-date, and I will be expecting many large packages in the future.
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09:09pm 30/10/2003
  With the Quidditch match looming I have hardly had enough time for my social life. If there were only more hours in the day I would be able to fit all of you in, but as Quidditch is important, you will have to wait until after this Saturday to really speak with me. I am sorry Pansy, but I will have to cancel our game of chess. It can be left for a later date.

As far as Quidditch goes, I do believe that Slytherin has the best team. Every player knows what they are doing, and responds well enough to me. Crabbe and Goyle are the possible exceptions. Their job as beaters should be relatively easy, one would think, but the two of them have made nothing but a mess of their positions. If the two of you do not improve before the game then I will have to consider having you replaced.

Bletchley made a brilliant save, and with him as keeper the chance of Gryffindor ever scoring is reduced to zero. Nott, Macdougal, and Pucey have the scoring side of things covered quite well. I have put into effect a new play that is sure to confuse the opposing team, and the three of them have pulled it off with little difficulty. Their coordination when it comes to passing is phenomenal. Gryffindor will not know what hit them. Of course, it will be up to the seeker to pull off the win. Potter is more of a showoff than ever, so that will leave with virtually no competition, as he will be too busy pleasing the crowd to look for the snitch. Just as long as those idiot Gryffindor beaters don't confuse me for a bludger I should have nothing to worry about.

Time for practise.
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12:20am 18/10/2003
  It seems that Mother has enlisted Denixxar's mother's help with freeing Father. My distaste for the witch aside, it is quite comforting knowing that her mother will be taking up the good cause and fighting for what is right. I suppose it is about time to start making marks on the common room's walls, counting down to the day that Father no longer has to live under such horrible conditions. It has been quite a lot of time since he has last sent me anything, and I am beginning to miss his usual bag of galleons that he sends with Mother's treats. A boy can never have too many galleons, though I would expect none of you to understand what I mean.

I am looking forward to the weekend. Some Slytherin third years are excited about the approaching Hogsmeade trip, despite my telling them that it is nothing but a village. Hogsmeade really does have nothing of worth. It shames the good name of wizarding, though what doesn't these days? Witches and wizards should respect their positions in life, not sully it with foolish actions and no money. You can hardly take a step without walking into a blood traitor, or worse, one whose blood is not pure.
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04:23am 12/10/2003
  Mother sent me an owl, and the ink was blotched with either tears or alcohol. There was no scent, so I am left assuming it was tears. My first thoughts drifted to Elizabeth Titan, wondering if this was her doing. But as I began reading it soon dawned on me that it was Father. Apparently Mother received a package, and in it was the Malfoy ring; Father's ring.

Now Mother is in a horrid state, claiming that Father is in trouble and needs her immediately. I have full confidence in him that he is simply telling us that he is still alive, but Mother cannot see that. I do not remember her being this fragile. Of course this is all Potter's fault, as well as Dumbledore's fault. Some people need to learn to keep their false accusations to themselves, rather than spreading them around newspapers and through the Ministry.

Mother also told me that she is packing, and is planning on coming to Hogwarts in the morning to request that I come with her to help look for Father. Dumbledore already denied her request to visit her younger self, so it is unlikely that I will be going anywhere. That is just as it should be, as I do not wish to traipse about in search of my father who is doing perfectly fine, except for the fact that he is on the run. I will attempt to meet her in the halls and warn her against doing anything foolish. Malfoys are not meant for such a stressful life, and it would be best for everyone involved if she simply relaxed. I will be writing an owl to Elizabeth, demanding that she explain why she has not calmed my mother. Usually that woman knows the best calming droughts to mix up in a second.
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05:40am 25/09/2003
  I do not see what is so fascinating about the Death Eaters business. They showed up as we were leaving. Is it really that big of a deal? I would think that it is not, but being surrounded by these losers it does not surprise me in the least.

I also fail to see what is interesting in the Ministry of Magic. Father has taken me there on his business trips on many occasions. You would think that none of these children knew what it was like to be a wizard. When one is raised as well as myself they must lose sight of those lesser than them, not that I would ever want to know what it was like to grow up in a shack like the Weasels. Filthy and disgusting, I assume.

The drama these journals bring to light is irritating. Somethings are better left off of here. Not everyone is interested in the latest melodrama you call life. Honestly, why anyone would air their business on this Muggle invention when they could just keep it quiet is beyond me. Logic fails many.

Wilderness does not suit a gentleman of my class. My robes are dirtied, and must be burned on my return to Hogwarts. My new dragon-hide shoes know not the meaning of sparkling clean anymore. Mother spent 102 galleons of Father's money on them, and I would think someone would care about their condition. No professor has shared their sympathy with me as of right now. Professor Snape is excused from this, of course, as he has other things to occupy himself with. I hear that the paranoid Hufflepuff boy was placed under his watchful eye. My condolences, Professor Snape.

Millicent is tugging on the hem of my robes like a lost animal. It is disturbing to see a girl of her size on the ground like that. She is obscuring my view of my feet. This should not be allowed. I must deal with it immediately.
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05:07am 18/09/2003
  This is all dreadful. Trudging about in foreign lands is hardly my idea of educational. I do not understand how it could be anyone's idea of educational. All I have learned is that too much walking in these shoes entirely ruins them, as they will be smudged for the rest of their existence. No cleaning spell can fix them, since most of the spells leaves shoes looking duller than they did before. The hem of my new robes have also become soiled. The least they could have done was bring along several house-elves. Mother would be appaled at the way we are being treated. As if it was our responsibility to make our own meals. I have eaten nothing in protest, and soon they shall find my shriveled corpse in the woods somewhere.

While Professor Snape's lecture on the importance of dragons in many potions was fascinating, as always, I find the other professors' teaching methods to be less than adequate. Professor Flitwick should learn to supress his glee. At his height, I know it must be challenging, but that is no excuse to be sqealing because of an over-grown reptile. Father and Mother have shown me many things. You would think that the way people went on about the dragons that they were like Potter. Thank Merlin they are not like him. Hogwarts can only handle so much ego.

I cannot help but be interested in our current lessons. Who could not be? I am sure the faculty of this school will find a way to make things dull. Everyone knows Binns could do just that, but he was not brought along. Surprising, really, that they had enough sense to know he could not protect us. Though, really, can any of these other professors protect us if we are attacked.

Where have Crabbe and Goyle gone off to? And Pansy and Millicent? I need someone to fetch me something to eat.
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10:59pm 07/09/2003
  Contrary to popular belief, detention does not teach one any worthwhile lessons. I have learned that bubotuber pus does not do wonders for manicures, but it will actually dull the natural shine and leave fingernails appearing quite lackluster. You would think they would have clean tasks for those of my station in life to complete. I am sure the Mudblood and the Weasel enjoyed it. They have spent most of their lives in the presence of filth, bubotuber pus would be a step up the proverbial ladder.

Mother has sent more sweets along with her love. I do love it when she orders the house-elves to make me silk soufflés. They are simply my favourite treat. She also informed me that Father is still being unjustly pursued to various corners of the world. The note delved into illegible after that. I am not sure if it was her handwriting, or if she suddenly took up another language. Perhaps she forgot and asked an illiterate house-elf to finish for her. It is hard to imagine that in this day and age there are still house-elves that do not know how to correctly write their master's letters. Just goes to show that house-elf sympathizers are having a detrimental effect on society.
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10:16am 31/08/2003
  Several of the students from Durmstrang are beginning to grate on my nerves. While I am generally a calm and accepting person, I cannot stand those who beg. They insist on whinging about Quidditch teams, and how it is not fair that I will not allow them to try-out. Can I help it if I do not believe they have a proper upbringing that is required for one to excel at Quidditch?

The Boys With Foolish Nicknames have the same mindset as the Boy Who Refused To Die. They believe that the rules should be bent for them, as they do not have those who follow the rules, like me, in mind. It is good to see that Professor Snape is not falling for the special circumstances. I would not be the least bit suprised if they had a role in coming here in the first place. As they are purebloods, they might have the potential to do such a thing. Though I am uncertain about the blood of a few of them. The mudbloods were probably caught up in it, I am sure.

Crabbe and Goyle have managed to hex themselves onto the ceiling. Do not ask me how they did this, as the only people I care to explain it to already know what has happened.
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08:01pm 24/08/2003
  I have found that the Durmstrang students have some interesting stories to tell. Father was right in wanting me to have attended Durmstrang rather than Hogwarts. Mother was foolish for worrying. If I had been given the choice, I would have sided with Father, and would have taken much more intersting classes over there. While I am sure they had their fair share of useless classes, an education at Durmstrang would have benefitted me far more.

Instead I am stuck here with half-breeds and mudbloods.

Pansy demands my time, so I must be going. It seems Crabbe and Goyle have once again failed to return from their detentions. Honestly, what are they up to?
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So dreadfully bored   
08:17pm 16/08/2003
  I was released from the hospital wing this afternoon after a nice rest. The mudblood and the weasel were still there, recovering from my momentous victory. It is a surprise that they were even awake after all the hexes I placed on them. All of Slytherin house has decided to boycott the Pathetic Unity Soiree in order to hold a proper soiree in my honor. I expected as much.

The biased Head of Gryffindor informed me that I have a months worth of detention for dueling. Pity, really. You would think since I won that I would not be punished. Yet I suppose that justice knows not the meaning of fair when it comes to the Gryffindor lovers who run this school.

I received a letter from Mother. She has written the sodding fool and asked to come to Hogwarts to visit with her younger self. Why she would want this, I do not know, as she does not even come to Hogwarts to visit her one and only son. Alcohol has impaired her judgement, it seems. The fowl reek of it has unhinged her, and she now wishes to come to a school full of imbeciles. I do not understand her. I doubt I shall ever understand her.
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07:41am 11/08/2003
  Lily Evans challenged me to a duel the other day. I have been in shock that a mudblood would even think they had a chance in beating a member of one of the most respectable wizarding families. I have decided to accept her offer. I heard of Muggle customs in which one slaps another with a glove in order to make the dule official. As I do not have a glove, I will settle for a sock. Now I must find the mudblood and make the duel official.  
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05:49am 09/08/2003
  Dumbledore called me to his office during breakfast yesterday, so I didn't get a chance to eat. I... er... The old kook...

Mother sent me a note that she obviously wrote herself, along with her usual batch of sweets, Thursday during breakfast. It seems the bit of news of the Narcissa here that I gave her perked her right up. She even discussed coming to Hogwarts to see her... younger self. I am sure Mother would be disappointed. Young Narcissa has none of Mother's grace and elegance. Why Father chose her is beyond me, though obviously I am grateful for the outcome.

Crabbe and Goyle are nothing short of a headache. While they follow me loyally, I cannot help but tire of their company. If Pansy was not around for sensible conversation, I do not know what I would do. I did have a fairly interesting... time... with young Severus. Professor Snape was everything I expected him to be at such an age, and a bit more. He is fascinating. I must put aside more time in the future to spend with him.

Potter and his lackeys do nothing but bore me, anymore. I do not know why insulting them used to entertain me. I am sure this comment will be enough for them to throw some idiotic insult my way. Honestly, I do not know why they waste their time with insults if they do not even bother thinking them out first.
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07:30am 04/08/2003
  How does Mother expect me to catch the train when I have no way of getting there? It leaves in thirty minutes, and she is passed out on the sofa. I suppose I could always strap a saddle on a house elf and ride it to the station.


That house elf looks big enough. Now I am in need of a saddle, and several more house elves to carry my possessions. It would be appropriate for a Malfoy to arrive with his very own entourage.


Seems the house elf is not big enough. I doubt we would have had a saddle anyway. Twenty-five minutes left until train leaves. I think I shall resort to dumping cold water on Mother until she wakes up. Or, rather, have house elves dump water on her. Several are standing around with alcohol. That will do.
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01:04am 02/08/2003
  Elizabeth Titan stopped by this morning for tea with Mother. All of Mother's friends have been visiting lately, trying to cheer her up. Elizabeth, though, is Mother's closest friend, and has been a beacon of hope for Mother ever since Father was unjustly locked in Azkaban. Her almost daily visits nearly get Mother to put down her alcohol and move off the sofa in the parlor. She has not moved from that sofa since she heard the news that Father escaped and was on the run.

Mother fears for his safety, and his appearance. Men on the run cannot take time for beautifying spells and potions. She has herself worried sick that when he returns his skin will not be as soft as it once was. I think there are more important things than soft skin, though it is highly important. Surviving to take down Dumbledore and his slanderous ways is certainly at the top of Father's to-do list. That old fool should never have messed with Malfoy blood.

The other day I asked Mother to accompany me to Diagon Alley for school supplies. She, instead, told me to take as many galleons as I needed from the third floor vault and that I was now old enough to travel on my own. While I would have loved to see Mother up and around, I decided that I could now take care of business that would have been quite awkward to do in her presence. Strange thing is, as I was on my way to take care of said business, I came across Potter in Knockturn Alley. I made a snide reference towards the horrid state of his robes, and he completely ignored me. He actually seemed quite attentive to the insides of those robes, as I could have sworn he tried to retreat into them. Potter is up to something, and I will be damned if I do not find out what.

Now, I agreed to write Pansy and Millicent sometime before Hogwarts would resume. Echo, my eagle owl, has finally returned from delivering letters to Crabbe and Goyle two weeks ago. He brought nothing in return. I will make certain that Crabbe and Goyle learn that they cannot ignore me while I am sleeping in the same dormitory as they are like they ignored me this summer.
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